Lost Coin Notes October 21, 2008

There is an exercise below that Daniel wants everyone to do.

Daniel asked what had come up for people in the time since he's been gone.  One student noticed herself slowing down.  Another is lessening her multitasking and noticing that the 'I' that has her best interest at heart is not in charge very often.  Another that her opposing I's come up in quick succession - for instance the indulgent I is met by the critical I.

Daniel said we aren't going to attain some kind of permanent happiness.  If you don't pursue the happiness thing all the time, you'll be happier.  Sadness is part of life.  You won't divorce sadness from happiness.

Daniel added that he always learns a lot during vacation because he watches people.  He's been listening to David Byrne: "This place is not a home, it's a house."  The degree to which we could live in accordance with reality will teach us something about happiness.

He watched some people in Hawaii, having a great time.  "It's the craziest thing," he said, "I know nothing about people having a great time."  Alcohol brings violence, saying stupid things they wouldn't normally say, getting sexually interested in people they wouldn't normally be interested in.  He doesn't think people have the faintest idea how to be happy, to look at reality objectively.  See if this I is in charge.

Q: Why do people continue to use alcohol when they get results they don't like?

D: Liquor inhibits fear.  Alcohol dulls fear.  They are looking for a different reality.  Here is the revolution that can happen: No particular chemical, relationship, or job can alter basic reality.  Only what you do can alter it.  Going deeper into reality instead of leaving reality.  He gave the example of his going down a terrific slide in a swimming pool where only the children were making use of it - never the adults.

It is extremely difficult to become unstuck, to move out of our mechanical patterns, to even get close to looking at our monsters.  We resist it.  Then to get to the stage where you see what you're doing - and separate from it.  Few people undertake this.

Look at it this week.  In the Zen tradition it is called being stuck.  In the 4th Way it is called mechanical behavior.  It is a pattern we do over and over.  It doesn't feel this way to us, but it is apparent to others.  This behavior is completely invisible to us.  We have this story, or lack of it, such that we don't see our pattern.

We never chose it.  The I's that are doing it grab the reins.  It's neither really great nor really terrible.  It works well for the people around us.  We meet people that fit within our patterns; we make alliances based on mechanical patterns.  

The alcoholic remains in a relationship with someone who fears intimacy.  

The person who is guilty about working too much stays in a relationship with someone who is guilty about not loving them.  

The boss who has problems with fear so they bully workers, stay with the workers who are stuck being afraid to take charge of their own life.  

Teachers and students can be in this same pattern. 

Our chief stuck place: Fear.  Mechanical avoidance of fear.

Exercise: Everyone do this.  What is the mechanical pattern that holds you back?

Some of the responses from students regarding where they get stuck: they can't say no, they compare themselves with others, they accommodate others, they lack of discipline, they get angry or blame others when what they really need is consoling.

Daniel talked about an historic culture living in the Steppes of the Caucus Mountains who, after they developed metal, began to sack and plunder other tribes.  This became the way of humanity, because it was easy.  This behavior stopped when trade replaced plunder as a way of life.  

Buddha said that everyone is unhappy because they want something other than what they have.  Thousands of years of people trying to get happy.  Then came the idea of self work and a way to get out of this habit of operating with no effort and no consciousness.  Just be here.  This is a house, not a home.
